


Spank Me Patriarchy

by nyicris



Series: skam drabbles [5]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Blindfolds, Crack, Daddy Even, Daddy Kink, Humor, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sexual Humor, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10054652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyicris/pseuds/nyicris
Summary: What happens when the Feminist and Woke™ Noora finds –a blindfolded and tied up – Isak calling Even ‘daddy’?





	

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by (tw) @cherryacida <33

Besides listening to rap on his way to school and vanilla ice-cream, fucking with Even in the kitchen where they had their almost-first kiss was Isak’s favorite thing in the world.     

“Fuck, daddy!” Isak cried out when Even hit just the _right spot_. “I’m-“

Suddenly, a threatening thud from the door shut off all the obscene sounds that were filling the room.

“Shit shit _shit_ ,” Even muttered under his breath. The only thing the blindfolded Isak could feel was his boyfriend trying to free him from the ropes that kept him tied to the sink’s tap.

“The fucking blindfold, take it off!” He demanded as panic settled in his chest. Even ignored him, too busy dealing with the ties. Isak’s body was on fire and he forgot how to breathe. Or maybe he was hyperventilating. _Please be Eskild please be Eskild please be Eskild._ “The blindfold Even!”

The moment the damn fabric fell off his face, Noora walked through the kitchen’s door.

 

The three of them stood quiet for a good minute. Isak wished he could put the blindfold back himself. And disappear. Maybe get a fake ID. Or move to Spain.

“Did I just hear somebody using the word ‘daddy’ referring to his boyfriend? In _my_ house?” Noora’s high-pitched tone disturbed the awkward silence.

“It’s not only yours, it’s a shared apartment.” Isak tried to rationalize, although his voice was trembling.

“Both of you. My room. In five minutes.” Noora didn’t wait for an answer. She stomped towards her room, finishing their conversation with another loud door slam.  

Even then stared at him and raised his eyebrows (trademark).

“Did Noora just ask us for a threesome, or..?” Isak snorted.

“I hate you,” He said as Even looked for a pair of scissors through the drawers. “I told you this wasn’t a good idea.”

***

_“This is a fantastic idea,” Even whispered in the crook of his neck with that rough, deep voice that could make Isak get down on his knees in a second._

_“Someone will run into us, Even...”_

_“How did you just call me?” His boyfriend left his neck and stared at him, gaze burning. “Say it again.”_

_“Sorry._ Daddy _...”_

 

Half an hour later, he was attending to a PowerPoint presentation called ‘Spank Me Patriarchy! BDSM Culture From A Radical Feminist Perspective’. His mind was already booking two flights to Spain, though. _Adiós Oslo!_

“... and that’s why the daddy slash little girl dynamic reinforces the dynamics of power established by patriarchy. In conclusion, it perpetuates the idea that women can’t be independent, therefore our partner has to become a parental figure in order to make us feel complete,” Noora _finally_ finished her presentation. “Any questions?”

“Isn’t that kind of homophobic, though?” Even argued, comfortably resting on one side of Noora’s bed. _Shit, no._ Isak shot him a murderous look. If there were two people in this world that could discuss politics for hours and hours, those were Even and Noora (and Jonas wasn’t far behind).

Noora chuckled as she crossed her arms, ready to fight. “What? No.”

“But you’re talking to a gay couple about dynamics between men and women.”

“Yeah, but... Gay couples can’t magically avoid patriarchal roles, either. Were you listening to me this whole time?”

Then, as Isak had predicted, Noora and Even engaged in an argument about feminism and terminology Isak had never heard before. He tried keeping up with the discussion in case his boyfriend needed help. It was useless. Isak only could grasp single words, such as  ‘heteronormative’, ‘identity politics’, ‘Taylor Swift’, ‘cisheteropatriarchy’, ‘foot fetish’, ‘Taylor Swift’ (again), ‘mirrorgender’. _What the fuck are they talking about._

“Why is nobody speaking of [plantkins](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=plantkin), uh? Noora, our fellow planthumans also need your educational PowerPoints!” Even didn’t care anymore - he was shamelessly laughing in Noora’s face. Isak tried to make sense of what he had just heard. _Plant kink? Are there people that have an actual kink for plants?_

And Noora was about to combust.

“Ughhhh _,_ ” She groaned as she left her own room and the apartment altogether.

_Well._

 

“What is a _platanking_?” Isak lazily got up from Noora’s bed while Even was already leaning in the door frame, looking at him.

“Baby please, don’t log into tumblr EVER,” Even pulled him into a hug and breathed in his hair. “You’re so pure and innocent.”

“I am not! We just literally got into trouble because I called you daddy.”

“ _Fuck._ ” His tone changed all of a sudden. “You know... We’ve got Noora’s room all for ourselves...”

“Even!” Isak let go of him. “We’re not corrupting one of my roommate’s bed. Again.”

“Who said anything about using her bed?”

**Author's Note:**

> next chapter: What Happens When Isak Finds Out That He Identifies As A Pumpkin
> 
> tw: @evenismo


End file.
